Here's some classic John Safran rants from the television series 'John Safran vs. God'


John Safran: I've always wondered why rich Westerners, dismissive about religion in general, find solace in Buddhism. Well, let's talk a look at the story of Prince Siddhartha, or Buddha as he became known. Basically, it's the story of a rich kid that decided to slum it. No joke - this guy Buddha was living at home in his palace, leeching off his dad until he was 30. Then like some spoiled trust-fund baby, he decides to leave the palace and finds all this romance in self-inflicted deprivation, all the while knowing that he could ring up his dad to top off his Visa card the minute anything went wrong. Hey, Buddha, here's a spiritual insight - all these poor people you were trying to emulate would've exchanged their noble life under the bodiatry for the opulence of your dad's palace in a snap! Which brings me back to my original point - I wonder why all these rich Westerners can relate so well to Buddha? Well, maybe it's because Buddha is the prototypical spoiled rich kid acting all dirty and poor. Let's face it, if Buddha were alive today, he'd be playing bass guitar in the Strokes. Until next time, go to hell.



John Safran: [on the issue of playing Scrabble with friends] But what really annoys me is, as you can imagine, most of my friends are Left Wing pinkos and on any other issue would be falling over themselves to accommodate the richness of multicultural diversity. Yet put down Qibla and suddenly I'm playing with Pauline Hanson. I tried to explain it's an Arabic word 'but we dont speak Arabic here, we live in Australia, we speak English!'. Listen hippie, when you're breaking through the fence of Woomera Detention Centre and whip out the Scrabble board, they're going to want to put down Qibla.